The hardest part of being an English major is not having support from your own Alma Mater. I was an undergraduate senior student at Cal State Channel Islands University when I submitted my first non-fiction story to their infamous literary magazine entitled “The Island Fox.” I felt a little apprehensive before turning in this piece that was about one of my favorite memories of visiting my grandparents in Mexico because the English professor running it was not a fan of me. In fact, she told me that I would NEVER make it as a writer, which made me contemplate dropping out of school. A week later I found out it was rejected because nobody on the writer’s panel understood it.
Now two years later, I’m a graduate student at Antioch Santa Barbara ten months from obtaining an MFA in Writing and Contemporary Media and I’ve decided to submit to the Island Fox again. Even though I’ve interned at a local newspaper and had my articles’ published for all of Santa Barbara County to read, I’m scared to be rejected by my Alma Mater. I keep thinking about my English professor saying, “Are you sure you want to be a writer?” This year I submitted a fiction piece from a chapter from a novel I’m writing. It’s one of the best pieces I’ve ever written. I’ll be crushed if it’s rejected. The interesting part about this is I’ve always thought my first published work would be from the Island Fox.
I wonder how many people have rejected it so far… WHYYYYY
t was Black Friday in a crowd of crazed consumers passing by a suffocating mirror, that I really took a glimpse of myself. There I was small, short, tan, long brown curly hair underneath a Dodger’s hat, I smiled at myself before the current of shoppers took me pass the mirror, but it was such a powerful moment for me. I felt like myself. I really looked at myself and thought this is who I am. I was too distracted to see it before. I feel and look healthy, yet I’m still struggling with anxiety.
y body starts to panic, especially when I get shortness of breath due to inhaling it. It’s such an inconvenient setback for me, but people have it worse right? I think yoga will help me center my thoughts over time. Apparently, it’s good for allergies too. I did a hike a few days ago and did some yoga on the overpass. I needed to practice mindfulness and breathing. Breathing is the best way to control anxiety. I’ve learned from experience, except sometimes even I forget to breathe.
prehensive about my self-progress, but let’s see what happens.
There’s a double standard in society though. We are taught to hide our flaws behind m
akeup, but if we wear too much we look like clowns or worse, Kylie Jenner clones, you know with the gallons of foundation and contour people wear. I swear I blame the Kardashians for making young girls go straight into dressing like an adult/ showing off their smokey eye, instead of having that awkward Limited Too checkered board capris and one annoying pimple of their makeup-less face phase.
