I was suppose to write during my halfway mark, but I couldn’t. Not because I didn’t want to, I just was still trying to fight off doubts. I didn’t want to rant about how not wearing makeup highlights my flaws and how the events going on were endless trigger after trigger. Now that I’m in a better state of mind, I can admit that the days I could clearly see my imperfections were also the days when I doubted myself the most. What were the doubts? Well. I wasn’t just centered on appearance, but not knowing where my career would take me, not receiving enough support in my relationships, feeling lonely and overwhelmed.
At least, I’m aware of it and I’m addressing it. Your state of mind is what determines how you feel! Anyway, I’ve tried a variety of things these past few weeks such as:
Full moon yoga, saging my house to “Bye, Bye, Bye” by Nsync, I had a rose quartz healing crystal for self confident (which I lost), hiking, reading Gothic Victorian era literature, going to the gym, I baked cookies after crying, I actually went out with friends and had a beer, and I’ve been regularly attending my vocal lessons.
These activities may seem like a distraction, yet they have been helping me improve myself. At 25, I know who I am, now it’s a matter of being a better version of myself.