It was Black Friday in a crowd of crazed consumers passing by a suffocating mirror, that I really took a glimpse of myself. There I was small, short, tan, long brown curly hair underneath a Dodger’s hat, I smiled at myself before the current of shoppers took me pass the mirror, but it was such a powerful moment for me. I felt like myself. I really looked at myself and thought this is who I am. I was too distracted to see it before. I feel and look healthy, yet I’m still struggling with anxiety.
Who isn’t nowadays? There is so much weight on our shoulders. I weirdly get anxiety from my allergies. For instance, when I’m around too much dust (carpet, clothing stores, dusty object) my body starts to panic, especially when I get shortness of breath due to inhaling it. It’s such an inconvenient setback for me, but people have it worse right? I think yoga will help me center my thoughts over time. Apparently, it’s good for allergies too. I did a hike a few days ago and did some yoga on the overpass. I needed to practice mindfulness and breathing. Breathing is the best way to control anxiety. I’ve learned from experience, except sometimes even I forget to breathe.
I’m going to stay positive. I’m not going to feel better overnight. Nothing happens overnight: losing weight, composing a perfect health care plan, graduating from school, falling in love, becoming your best self, etc. I’ve lost seven pounds in half a year, but I didn’t rush myself. Trust me I tried to lose weight as fast as I could, but it doesn’t work that way, for my body at least. I didn’t want to fall back into bad habits and relapse. I decided the only way to lose weight was not to focus on the weight itself, but how I felt. It always goes back to that. I also don’t like to post pictures of my “progress,” because I don’t need the confirmation of my Instagram followers to feel satisfied. This is for me.
I have a few more days of No Makeup November and I’m a little apprehensive about my self-progress, but let’s see what happens.